I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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