you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the raccoons are back...
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