CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
