I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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