Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize