We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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