3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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