Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize