Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
