His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just puked most of my soul out..
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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