MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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