We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
