Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
