grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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