I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize