his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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