Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
