Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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