How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize