the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize