Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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