Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
