i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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