how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
