if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize