dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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