38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
