i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
