Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
