My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
