i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
