What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize