I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize