Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
