Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
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I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
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But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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