4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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