I am in a vortex of obligation.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
