I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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