I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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