Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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