TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
