She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.