I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.