Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
