Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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