somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
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Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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