Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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