Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
