i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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