Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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