Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
