New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize